Growing old in England

Someone asked the other day, 'What was your favourite fast food when you were growing up?' 'We (NOT HAVE) fast food when I was growing up,' I informed him. 'All the food was slow.'
'Come on, you are not serious. Where did you eat?' 'In my childhood, it (CALL) "at home,"' I explained.
'Mum cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we (SIT) down together at the dining room table, and if I didn’t like what she had put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.'

He was too clever

Some people want to show how clever they are and that may lead to trouble. Once a professor (TRAVEL) by boat. On his way he asked the sailor: “Do you know biology, ecology, zoology, geography?”
The sailor said no to all his questions. The professor said: “What on Earth do you know? You (DIE) of illiteracy.”
After a while, the boat started (SINK) . The sailor asked the professor: “Do you know swiminology and escapology from sharkology?” The professor said no. The sailor said, “Well, sharkology and crocodilogy will eat your headology and bodyology and you will dielogy because of your mouthology.”